a lesson in patience.

when it comes to the different fruits of the spirit the one I struggle with the most is patience. oh my, for as long as I can remember patience was not my strongest virtue.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23 ESV)

maybe it's because of growing up in the microwave generation or it may just simply be how my spirit is but ya girl has to be proactive on harnessing her patience.

recently, my prayers have consisted of praying about things I've been lacking patience on. i'm not going to go into too much detail but a couple topics include singleness and healing... among a few other things that I'm gonna keep to myself for now.

this morning after waking up I remember laying in my bed, looking up, and just speaking with God. talking about what I'm grateful for and what's also troubling my heart. i believe it's so important to speak to the Lord with thanksgiving alongside authenticity. if you're not telling Him what's truly on your heart and affecting you then how do you expect to connect with Him on an intimate level when your not honoring your true self. if you go to the doctors and say you feel great but in actually reality your full blown symptomatic and suffering how do you expect to get healed?

"And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.”" (Mark 2:17 ESV)

in that moment it didn't register that what I was praying about was indirectly referencing my lack of patience. but it was. a lot of times what can be troubling our hearts can be the side effects of the condition of our faith in waiting seasons.

I left the conversation not feeling too much different. a little bit lighter after confessing what was on my heart but I didn't have a massive revelation or anything. I ended up going on tiktok afterwards (lol surprise surprise). well, at this point in time I had uploaded a tiktok the day before that was basically a promo for a bible study I had just uploaded on my youtube channel on 2 Timothy 3. well... as soon as I uploaded it, tiktok removed the video because it had "violated community guidelines'. I was like.... huh? was it because I was talking about Jesus? apparently when I opened up the claim it was for "integrity and authenticity". then I knew that was a mistake because there was nothing in that video that violated that section of the community guidelines. so what did I end up doing? I submitted an appeal.

the thing about submitting an appeal is you don't know if or when it will get approved. honestly, I've had videos removed because they were christian content or me simply talking about Jesus so it's unfortunately not bizarre for them to take down my video. so I was waiting all day yesterday to see what would happen to the video... nothing. this morning after waking up... nothing, no change. I was so tempted to delete it bc even though there was nothing wrong with the video no one was going to see it and I didn't feel like waiting around for a few days with the giant "community guidelines violation" sign over the video I could clearly see.

I go to delete it but then something in me says "hold off". so I decided to wait a little longer before I deleted it. I lock my phone and am just laying there pondering life, my prayers, and things of that sort lol. yenno... the typically morning thoughts.

I kept thinking about a particular prayer of mine. let's just say it was a prayer where I was ready to throw in the towel on some particular feelings for a particular someone..... lol use your imagination here. it was kind of discouraging because I felt God was working some things together with this individual but the waiting game was leaving me dismayed & feeling like it was game over.

before I get up I go on tiktok again and BOOM my video was approved and the violation was removed. bro I wasn't expecting that at all. and to think just a few moments before I was ready to pull the plug on the video and delete it.... dang, that really made me think.

my realization:

1) how many times do we (i) let our lack of patience set us back in life? how... if we just held on a little longer, had more faith and persevered, would see the fruit our patience produced? what if Joshua and his troops gave up on the 6th lap around the walls of Jericho? they would've been one lap shy of entering what God had promised them.

"Then the Lord said to Joshua, “See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days. Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams’ horns in front of the ark. On the seventh day, march around the city seven times, with the priests blowing the trumpets. When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have the whole army give a loud shout; then the wall of the city will collapse and the army will go up, everyone straight in.” (Joshua 6:2-5 NIV)

so I took a step back and acknowledged it's just simply not the time for certain things. God is still working, still in control, and sees the bigger picture. it's not time to throw in the towel. and a sure fire sign to know that is if you don't feel peace about it then you know it's not a spirit from God. and I felt so at peace and looked over by the Lord after that conclusion.

2) my advice to you is to hold on. you hear the phrase "don't let waiting seasons be wasted seasons" but that's so true. whatever you're waiting on from the Lord don't sit around twiddling your thumbs. do an honest assessment of where you can be/do better. what healthy habits can you add into your life? how can you serve the Lord and His kingdom more? how can you grow into where God is calling you to? and NOT for anybody else or to be "good enough" for someone... heck no. it's for you to be better for YOU and in return better for the world.

3) lastly, don't fall in love with God's promise over God. your love for God should NOT be contingent on what He can do for your or what He can give you. go back to the book of Genesis... Abraham patiently waited decades for a son and when he was well into his 100s God finally blessed him with Isaac. when God tested Abraham to give up and sacrifice Isaac to Him, Abraham agreed. yes, he loved his son but He had so much faith in God.

“Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”(Genesis 22:12 NIV)

patience, ladies & gentlemen. something I definitely need to continue to work on but I just wanted to share this little moment from today & hope that it can encourage you

God is good y'all!

in ALL His ways

never forget that

Sincerely,

Saved